Have you ever just had a glimpse into your family roots, parents particularly, that leaves you breathless? Breathless maybe from pain, distance or unanswered questions or maybe inexpressible joy, closeness, and gratitude? I’ve had many moments like that spanning the gamut throughout my life as my parents go from humans to heros and vice versa. Recently, before I left for a West Coast trip, I had a “daddy ott” email sitting in my inbox. This is precious for a variety of reasons.
One: emails are few and far between due to the duration it takes daddy to type a word much less a collection of sentences.
Two: technology is still a bit of a novelty to him, its kinda cute.
Three: thought, intentionality, prayer, and A LOT of computer screen face time went into whatever is in my inbox.
Fourth: it is all worth reading whatever it is, minus the political forwards that I open to delete.
This one was entitled “ Visions of Grace”. It was days later after I was already settled into my little LA cottage when I opened this email, actually an attachment. I sat on my couch in utter awe of him and worship of Him!
As my eyes started skimming, my heart started skipping. Such joy and gratitude enveloped me immediately! Tears rolled as I read years of wisdom, personal insights through fervent prayers, and biblical truth nuggets in the voice of my dad. Many I have heard over the years being in his household but they still take deep root in me, affecting, inspiring, and stirring up Life. He had compiled this conversation between him and our Father over many years and literally has just added to the document from written pen to typed letters as he learned the skill to do so. It was a wide open window into a man whom I call so much more than just daddy. He is teacher, best friend, partner, supporter, warrior, comforter, provider, and the list goes on. Oh let me count the ways I love and know this man!
It was like I was sitting at the feet of two best friends in the throne room while I read and read and read…. smiles and tears throughout. Oh I was and still am beyond words to express gratitude for my roots! The leadership, honesty, passion, wisdom, brokenness, and fathering of this dad has shaped this little girl into the woman she is. I could not have asked or prayed for deeper richer roots than what Abba gave me in my dad and mom. This apple did not fall far from those trees, in fact, I dont even think I fell off seeing as how I am living back at home with them. Ha! It is a sweet, rich, full and fruitful life I live but it would be nothing without the roots of my family. Not only are they blood to me but they are home to many. Home in safety, laughter, peace, joy, and wisdom from Jesus to everyone…. If only tweets and FB status lines could house more than 150 characters and hold the wealth of ‘Visions of Grace” for all the world to read. It would change, convict, and compel them! It did me and I know the man who wrote it… and I know the Man that wrote him. I am still ingesting this “email” because it is so much more than hours of typed words on a screen, it is the crucible of years forged into a life worth immolating.
I love you daddy, both of You, Abba Father!
( yes I am 30 and still call him daddy, never plan on ceasing)
In the capturing words of my newest favorite musician, Johnnyswim, “I love me some home…”