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Monthly Archives:

October 2012

Loving My Roots

Have you ever just had a glimpse into your family roots, parents particularly, that leaves you breathless? Breathless maybe from pain, distance or unanswered questions or maybe inexpressible joy, closeness, and gratitude? I’ve had many moments like that spanning the gamut throughout my life as my parents go from humans to heros and vice versa. Recently, before I left for a West Coast trip, I had a “daddy ott” email sitting in my inbox. This is precious for a variety of reasons.

One: emails are few and far between due to the duration it takes daddy to type a word much less a collection of sentences.

Two: technology is still a bit of a novelty to him, its kinda cute.

Three: thought, intentionality, prayer, and A LOT of computer screen face time went into whatever is in my inbox.

Fourth: it is all worth reading whatever it is, minus the political forwards that I open to delete.

 

This one was entitled “ Visions of Grace”. It was days later after I was already settled into my little LA cottage when I opened this email, actually an attachment. I sat on my couch in utter awe of him and worship of Him!

 

As my eyes started skimming, my heart started skipping. Such joy and gratitude enveloped me immediately! Tears rolled as I read years of wisdom, personal insights through fervent prayers, and biblical truth nuggets in the voice of my dad. Many I have heard over the years being in his household but they still take deep root in me, affecting, inspiring, and stirring up Life. He had compiled this conversation between him and our Father over many years and literally has just added to the document from written pen to typed letters as he learned the skill to do so. It was a wide open window into a man whom I call so much more than just daddy. He is teacher, best friend, partner, supporter, warrior, comforter, provider, and the list goes on. Oh let me count the ways I love and know this man!

 

It was like I was sitting at the feet of two best friends in the throne room while I read and read and read…. smiles and tears throughout. Oh I was and still am beyond words to express gratitude for my roots! The leadership, honesty, passion, wisdom, brokenness, and fathering of this dad has shaped this little girl into the woman she is. I could not have asked or prayed for deeper richer roots than what Abba gave me in my dad and mom. This apple did not fall far from those trees, in fact, I dont even think I fell off seeing as how I am living back at home with them. Ha! It is a sweet, rich, full and fruitful life I live but it would be nothing without the roots of my family. Not only are they blood to me but they are home to many. Home in safety, laughter, peace, joy, and wisdom from Jesus to everyone…. If only tweets and FB status lines could house more than 150 characters and hold the wealth of ‘Visions of Grace” for all the world to read. It would change, convict, and compel them! It did me and I know the man who wrote it… and I know the Man that wrote him. I am still ingesting this “email” because it is so much more than hours of typed words on a screen, it is the crucible of years forged into a life worth immolating.

 

I love you daddy, both of You, Abba Father!

( yes I am 30 and still call him daddy, never plan on ceasing)

 

In the capturing words of my newest favorite musician, Johnnyswim, “I love me some home…”

Build Up

Like living stones, we are being built into a spiritual house so we can offer acceptable sacrifices to God. (1 Peter 2:5)

Walking down the hustling and bustling streets of Culver City, right outside of Beverly Hills, I saw a new building being constructed from the ground up. There were loud machines, busy men running around with hard hats, and high studs that would eventually become walls to rooms. I was compelled to stop, watch and listen, not so much “stop, drop, and roll”. Ha, sorry that just made me think of that old childhood adage! Seriously though, it was as if a spiritual sense was welling up within me as I viewed this construction site. I feel like a construction site sometimes. Walls erected, stuff everywhere, emotions loud and quiet,  the excitement of newness, evolving changes, harsh machines around me working purposefully on me, men running around me for who knows what reason, and dust covering a lot. Then in my heart, the Lord said, “  I am at work on your construction site. I am at work in You, beloved one. Your foundation is secure and laid. You may be from dust but you are of Me. I am on & in your scene, hard hats and all. I am crafting beauty out of ashes. You are not merely a project being managed but a building being built. A consecrated sacred temple, actually, being fashioned and beautified where I am dwelling with permanent residence. The Machinery I use may sting sometimes but it is necessary. I am skilled, do not fear. There are finished rooms in you but so many more studs going up for new ones. Exciting reconstruction!” I said to Him, “ Lord you are my dwelling place” and He said, “ you are Mine”.

As I watched the workers floating on soon to be “floors” in between those bare wooden beams I knew that one day those would be filled with people, stuffed chairs, stories, and dinners at unique tables.The construction zone was not forever, it was a means to a good end. It was fascinating to envision what could be from what was or is. What can you make of and in me, Lord? God envisions so much of His Son when He views us, wreck or not. Endless beauty and enlarged rooms for all kind of love, experiences, tears, joys, and eternal fruit production are in store. The Lord said that with living stones, or studs in my analogy, we are being built up into His spiritual dwelling. A place where in all the emptiness He fills every square inch. A place that is constantly being refurbished, decorated, and saturated with His purposes, presence, and peace. A place where His spirit passionately hovers in every nook and cranny of the heart. A place where bareness becomes beauty and brokenness becomes wholeness. Oh I love how He speaks in His Word but even on streets in cities.

“Thank You for building me up on God. You have laid the foundation on and in Christ, now as the walls go up for rooms to be filled by You, remind me of Who it is that will always dwell in me. I permit you to remove walls, move studs around for better security, and construct as You deem best. You have taken up residency within these walls and this skin known as “me”. Thank you Jesus that you are a trusted Craftsman at work accomplishing what You see as fitting. Fill me thoroughly anew O God!”